Stories of a World Gone Mad: Gambling is truly investing for dummies
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Once in a blue moon — when I think the world owes me a favor — I will buy a lottery ticket.
If I recall correctly, I’ve been to a casino five times.
Each time, I gave myself a meager budget because when you’re in Rome, you do what the Romans do.
One of those casino visits was a work trip to Reno, Nev. Work trips to anywhere in Nevada don’t include much work. But don’t tell your boss that.
After the last night in Reno I had tripled my gambling allowance. I was up $60.
Yes, I’m a high roller.
Of course, in Nevada slot machines are everywhere, including the airport. And that’s where I lost $58.50 of my $60 profit while waiting on my flight.
I’m glad we weren’t delayed.
Before the NCAA men’s basketball tournament started, I entered one of those contests where you pick each game before the tournament starts.
This isn’t gambling, because no money is involved. But it’s still a game of chance.
After the first day of March Madness, I was in 46th place out of lots and lots of entrants. I thought that was pretty good.
When day two concluded, I had climbed up to 15th.
After Tennessee laid its annual NCAA tournament egg on Saturday, I fell to 96th.
As of right now, I’m sitting pretty in place 144.
I’m glad it’s not real gambling.
I didn’t know this, but since 2019 the US National Highway Traffic Administration has required electric vehicles to make noise so people can hear them coming.
It’s a great idea. But just like everything the government touches, even something as simple sounding as this has a ridiculous aspect to it.
The requirement is that the cars must make a noise until they reach 18.6 m.p.h.
Eighteen point six.
I would’ve loved to have been a fly on the wall when a bunch of government engineers were debating that one.
“Okay, call it in the air, McGillicuddy. Heads, it’s 18.6; tails, it’s 19.1.”
Regardless of that quirk, like I said, I’m all in favor of it. The Mighty Prius is pre-2019, and if I wanted to sneak up on someone, I would have no trouble doing it. Of course, the gasoline engine would probably kick in just about the time I was closing in on my prey.
It sounds like I’ve been thinking about that, but I haven’t.
From what I read, carmakers create artificial noise for their cars. For instance, BMW worked with a music composer to come up with their signature sound.
I think the consumer should get to customize their own sound. How much fun would that be?
You could make it sound like an ice cream truck and drive children crazy.
I would make mine sound the way my bike sounded when I clothes-pinned a baseball card so the spokes of the front wheel would hit it.
Actually, using part of a pimento cheese container lid was far superior to a baseball card.
Here’s another idea. If your ride ever got stolen, you could whip out the app on your phone and make it say, “Call the police. I have been stolen.”
Of course, most car thieves are probably going to be driving at least 18.7 m.p.h., so it wouldn’t matter.
Barry Currin is founder and President of White Oak Advertising and Public Relations, based in Cleveland, Tenn. Email him at currin01@gmail.com
