Smiley: When you don't have slot machines
$5,000 Welcome Bonus
Dear Smiley: As Broadmoor High students in the early 1970s, some buddies and I were inexplicably hired by the Pak-A-Sak convenience store near the Sherwood Forest area.
Even more inexplicably, we were often given the 3-11 shift, without supervision.
Late one night I was behind the counter and my pal Darrell Talley was running the broom across the floor when a customer strode hurriedly into the store and beelined for the pay phone, dramatically jingling change.
He jammed a number of coins into the slots, jingling and dinging. Then, exasperated, he sighed dramatically, hit the coin return button, and re-jammed the coins.
Enthralled, Darrell leaned on his broom and watched.
After about the third iteration of his "coins in/coins out" exercise, the customer turned and locked eyes with Darrell's smiling gaze.
"Winnin'?" Darrell asked excitedly.
J.R. CLARY JR.
Baton Rouge
Expanded vocabulary
Dear Smiley: The item on Wednesday about the missing flowers reminded me of when my son Chase was about 4 years old.
We had planted colorful vincas along the front flower beds at our house. One day I brought Chase home from day care, and we walked around the front yard to look at our flowers.
Most of the flowers were gone, as well as the leaves, leaving nothing but stems.
I said, "Look, Chase. Something is eating our flowers."
Without hesitation he said, "Those damn cats!”
Not sure where he learned that phrase, but hoped he wasn’t repeating it at day care.
CINDY BLACK BOUCHIE
Case solved
Dear Smiley: The Wednesday story about the "sweet kid" picking a neighbor's flowers reminded me of a similar story:
In a long-ago "Dragnet" show, Joe Friday (Jack Webb) and his partner Frank were investigating a missing baby Jesus from the nativity scene of a local church during Christmas season.
At the end of the show, the "crime" was solved as the culprit, an 8-year-old boy, noisily comes into the church pulling a wagon with the baby Jesus inside.
The boy explained he told baby Jesus that if he would get a wagon for Christmas, he would give him a ride.
GLENN E. MITCHELL
Gretna
Smart truck blues
Dear Smiley: I bought a new truck recently, with all the new-fangled bells and whistles.
The first time I took my boat out, I discovered my truck viewed my boat as an obstacle and refused to back up more than a foot or two before braking.
This led to a prolonged and embarrassing time launching the boat. It seems you have to disable the emergency rear braking, which I couldn’t figure out how to do at the time.
Any day fishing is a good day — even if your truck is smarter than you.
When I got home I pulled out the manual and read the instructions. My wife tells me I need to do this more often.
TOM BOONE
Gonzales
Dear Tom: Read instructions? But you're a GUY!
Design flaw
Dear Smiley: Last week Annette and I motored over to Lake Charles and passed the Jennings airport on I-10.
I was reminded of this old story:
Thibodeaux had always dreamed of flying a plane, so he went to the airport in Lafayette, took lessons and got his pilot's license.
He invited his friend Boudreaux to fly with him to Lake Charles for lunch. At the Lafayette airport, they were warned of an approaching storm. But that didn't faze Thibodeaux.
As they approached Crowley, they hit the storm head on. The small plane bucked and dropped and twisted.
Thibodeaux says, "Boo, look, there's a small airport in Jennings. We gonna land there and wait till this storm passes over."
The plane touched down, but then slid across the runway and bogged down in wet grass.
Boudreaux screamed at his friend, "You almost got us killed! They never taught you how to land a plane?"
"It ain't my fault," said Tib. "They built this runway wrong. Look how short it is…and how wide…"
THOMAS MURREL
Church Point
Write Smiley at Smiley@theadvocate.com. He can also be reached by mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821. Follow Smiley Anders on Twitter, @SmileyAndersAdv.
